i hate it. i hate it when nobody bothers about me.
im screaming so loudly and yet, no one gives a fuck.
i am nobody.
bye.
never ever letting you go ):
Y
11:32 PM
♥ Wednesday, January 30, 2008
i cant stand it.. i really cant.
can u dun be liddis to me..?
i cant do anything. i tink im gonna die really soon.
i jus wanna talk to u.
haish. iwonderifustillcare.
today is only the first day of the super long holiday. and im missing her so frikkin much. how am i going to survive the rest of it. i spend my whole day in front of my computer with nothing to do. all i do. is think about her. theres nothing much i can do. if she doesnt wanna play or tok to me. i have nobody to talk to. i hate it. i hate it when i got nobody to talk to. i start going insane. can anyone ask me out? do anything oso can. i just dun wanna stay at home and ponder about her. it breaks me inside out. idle-ing sux. do i really have to play maple again?
ok.. now im playing maple.. so there's ppl to tok to me.. its really hard for me to not talk to anyone for the whole day. u should try. jus you urself. on ur com. for the whole day. without talking to anyone. nobody will noe how i feel.
haish. will the holidays ever end..? ):
never ever letting you go ):
Y
12:27 PM
♥ Tuesday, January 29, 2008
WHADAFUCK MAN?!
why must i always do something wrong? fuck it man. i dont know why. what the fuck la. wad a nice tuesday end up like this. wo qu tiao lou le la.
bye .
never ever letting you go ):
Y
9:32 PM
♥ Monday, January 28, 2008
sigh. i feel like a heroine addict without his heroine. its killing me.
i cant study. all i think about is her. haish.
WHY WHY TELL ME WHY!
cant wait for tomolo. tuesday! weee...
never ever letting you go ):
Y
4:25 PM
♥ Sunday, January 27, 2008
duno wad happened to me today. feel so fucked up. so pek chek. so frustrated. everything i do just dun work out right.
i play dota. keep dying. then kena fuck by my teammates. one even left because he couldnt stand me. fuck man. fuck fuck fuck. i just keep fucking dying. IM SO FED UP! wad happen to me today!!!!!!!
si bei no mood to even sit in front of my com. my eyes are getting blurred. i guess its becos of those sleepless nights. i can barely keep my eyes open.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
dun poke me ok. im gonna explode. my patience has limits. i guess i've nv been someone with a bad temper to anyone before. thats becos i always smile. i always laugh. i dont frown and attitude ppl. when im provoked, when im angry, i go crazy. i will kill if i must. so u better dun come near me.
with this post, i guess everyone will noe how bad tempered i am.
haish.. i just love to listen to emo songs and emo with the song. just like my blog song. listen le so emo.
haish.. ):
edit: really wish she was here... cant wait for her to online..
bye.
never ever letting you go ):
Y
4:46 PM
♥ Saturday, January 26, 2008
saturday morning. i woke up so early! omg... 7++ woke up.. duno wad happen.. i tink my brain forced myself to wake up.. so i can call her to wake up.. =x either that or...
i was dreaming of her.. then... cant wait to wake up and sms her.. =x oops. lalalalalalalalal..
haish.. there i go again.. when will the dreams go away..? the "nightmares" are killing me..
haish... i duno why u r treating me so good.. am i worth ur time..? its a good thing. i noe.. but when u do.. it makes me go crazy. i go insane. insanely crazy. crazily insane in love. sigh... it makes me think so much... arghhhhh... dun wan say le.. sob sob..
bye.
here i am.. posting again.. sigh.. whole day today.. nv tok to her..time pass like uber slow man..
go audi play.. play a while nia fed up.. cant chain.cant perf. keep missing. cant even do normal fm. haish.. i tink its becos i couldnt feel her aura.. =x hehe.. keep missing i sian le. then come out. do other thing. then go in again. oso keep missing. sigh.. i miss u... T.T i mean i mean.. i keep missing in audi..
haish... mus look on bright side...
cant wait for tuesday! =x (you noe why..)
p.s.: my last paper on tuesday.
never ever letting you go ):
Y
9:41 AM
♥ Friday, January 25, 2008
its killing me. i cant take it. i tot it was over. but it wasnt.
for a period of time. she disappeared from my dreams. now she has returned. and im having my "nightmares" again..
its not that i dun like to dream about it. i dream about the time when im with u. i couldnt get any happier. really. but when i wake up. its only a dream. a dream that will never come true.
its killing me.
bye.
hi. im back. find frens to go out... cos nobody wan go out with me.. haish... went pooling. was on fire. duno why. sigh.. went home alone.. keep tinking of stuff. haish.. bth myself.
bye.
never ever letting you go ):
Y
3:18 PM
♥ Thursday, January 24, 2008
*note to self:
she dint say anything. u r the one thinking too much. so stop thinking.*
my heart just cries out loud when i think of her.
nothing to say. bb.
back again. its 2.30 already. haish..
had been torturing myself. i open up my textbook. i see JLayoutManager and String.indexOf. but all i tink about.. is you.
i thought about i wont be able to see u anymore. then.. my heart sunk like titanic. totally no mood to study. really wish u can pass.. but if its ur own wish to quit. i cant do anything. nothing. only to stand there and watch myself cry.
haish. i just fucking hate myself. i hate how much i love you. i hate how much i need you. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
never ever letting you go ):
Y
12:48 PM
♥ Wednesday, January 23, 2008
great.. now my netf is chui-ed. see la. dun wan study ytd.. haish..
ytd i open my textbook, i see words, i see myself reading, but the words jus went in from the right eye and exited from the left eye. couldnt study. then ask her to audi. audi liao everything in my mind gone. wth... after that, i look at the book again. still no use. shit la.. see la.. who ask u go tink of other thing.. now fail netf. GG la.
sigh.. recently have been practising on my guitar. i jus enjoy it. even tho it was only one simple song consisting of 4 very easy chords. i jus smile.
wad more can i say. today.. my hart was aching. even tho i look happy like a leak. my hart was suan until cnt suan ok. like someone put lemon into my apple tea. why is this so? good question.
mai say le la. haish.
she's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar.. wonders if she noe she's all i tink about at night..
im starting to sing.. very touching song. enjoy. will continue updating if i got the mood to. haish..
bye.
-me- -signing off with the song Teardrops on my guitar by Taylor Swift-
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about And she's got everything that I have to live without
Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny That I can't even see anyone when he's with me He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right, I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night
[Chorus:]
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe? And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause
[Chorus] He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light I'll put his picture down and maybe Get some sleep tonight [Chorus] He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough And he's all that I need to fall into..
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
never ever letting you go ):
Y
5:14 PM
♥ Tuesday, January 22, 2008
omg.. im really dumb. i jus realise how gundu i am. like that oso can forget. wa bth... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
anyway. today is maths exam day. stress. haven study much. GG-fied.
nothing to say. bb.
-96 hours into the battle. im struggling.- -signing off at 10.27am-
im back. time now is 5.37pm.
maths over! woohoo! i got a feeling im gonna pass with floating colours!! wee...
recently i learnt a new song. sort of my first song. on guitar. rocks man. (for me). cos i anyhow play de. nv follow exactly. sigh.. finger pain la..
PLUS
= MUSIC!!!
sigh. its all still the same. i still hate myself. my hart was in tears when i said wad i said.
teardrops on my guitar...
bye.
never ever letting you go ):
Y
10:04 AM
♥ Monday, January 21, 2008
its more than 72 hours into the battle.
i hope im doing this for a good cause.
i jus wanna tink of studying, and not her.
jyjy ming! u can do it!
never ever letting you go ):
Y
2:18 PM
♥ Sunday, January 20, 2008
been 60 hours. sigh.
never ever letting you go ):
Y
9:26 PM
♥
has been 48 hours. sigh. i got nothing to say. :*(
never ever letting you go ):
Y
1:36 PM
♥ Saturday, January 19, 2008
today. all i wan to say is. I MISS HER SO MUCH
never ever letting you go ):
Y
11:59 PM
♥ Friday, January 18, 2008
great. this is the 10th post. so long already. have been posting daily.
TGIF. but.. a friday where i stay at home the whole day and mourn over myself.
i really wanna ask her out. but i noe.. its hardly possible. she nv failed to disappoint me. i guess i'll jus have to queue in line in the long long line of ppl trying to ask her out. proberbly nv be my turn.
I JUST WANNA STOP! WHY CANT I STOP!?
im alone at home. i jus scream.
last night. i dint noe wad happen. i was uber awake. i couldnt sleep. i thought of my past. and cried. literally cried. the amount of water that flowed out of my eyes was much more than the water i shed for her. i dint noe why. i was so fucking emotional ytd night. with so many things trying to squeeze into my head,i can barely hear myself. who am i? i am nobody.
4 more days to end of year exam. i feel nothing. emptiness. never had i been so bochap about exam. my studies was totally overcame by love. totally. i could think of nothing more than her. i lost my feeling. i lost my touch. im numb. i've become so numb i cant feel anything there. everyday i jus wanna go out. i cant study. i jus wanna go out with her. only her. i jus wanna :
F O R G E T F O R G E T F O R G E T F O R G E T F O R G E T F O R G E T F O R G E T F O R G E T F O R G E T F O R G E T F O R G E T F O R G E T F O R G E T
is it so hard? the more one tries to forget, the more one remembers.
post number 10. a different post. no song. no nothing. goodbye world.
-me- -signing off, for now-
im here again. to post this photo. 11 man!! woohoo. so high. hah
yea... its 9.32pm. woo. night time le. time flies man. friday night. 4 more days to exam. GG-ed.
today is a special day. if today did not exist, i wouldnt be here.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!
woohoo. im so fortunate. when i tink of wad a family i have, i get so emotional. its really a blessing from god. when everything doesnt work out for me. when everyone jus ignore me. i tink about my family. when no one else wanted me, they did. they cared for me. even tho she didnt wan me, my family did. so, im going to work on this concept. and never be sad again. (i try).
alright. time to audi.
-iSTILLmissYOU- -me- -signing off again at 9.37pm-
never ever letting you go ):
Y
12:24 PM
♥ Thursday, January 17, 2008
thursday. wee.
jus reached home. 10pm. pretty good day.
do cleaning up for smit clubroom. bo bian.. have to go.. go there slack and see girls lor. haha =x
sigh.. still super sad. i feel im not good enough as other guys out there. there are so many things which i do not have. everything i might never have. the qualities that i lack, straightforwardly differentiate me from everyone else. i got nothing to say..
haish..
是你的，就是你的。不是你的，就不是你的。
mango, sounds familiar?
sighs.. there's some things i cant change. (somethings that money cant buy. for everything else, there's mastercard. xD). mian qian shi mei you xin fu de.. T.T
i duno why i said that. proberbly. to make myself happy for a few seconds. that would be enough.
haish..
i tink abt the day when she would call me. jus to chat. altho it was only once.. but.. no more le. maybe im jus too over-something..over--..... over-.. over wad ah.. aiya.. jus too bothered about her. (suddenly cnt tink of that word). yea. maybe thats why.
haish..
even though i tried my best to forget. jus forgetting itself. jus trying to lose the feeling. whenever im with her, it all jus come back. and it goes back to square 1 and makes me uber sad again. i put a no-entry sign le. but they still come back. stupid la. fuck.zzzzzzzzz.
bleahs. duwan continue.
If I had the letters "HRT", I can add "EA" to get a "HEART" or a "U" and get "HURT". But I'd rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than have a "HEART" without "U".
You're on my heart, just like a tattoo.
-me- -signing off with Tattoo by Jordin Sparks-
No matter what you say about love I keep coming back for more Keep my hand in the fire Sooner or later, I'll get what I'm asking for
No matter what you say about life I learn every time I bleed That truth is a stranger Soul is in danger, I gotta let my spirit be free
To admit that I'm wrong And then change my mind Sorry but I have to move on And leave you behind
[Chorus] I can't waste time so give it a moment I realize, nothing's broken No need to worry 'bout everything I've done Live every second like it was my last one Don't look back at a new direction I loved you once, needed protection You're still a part of everything I do You're on my heart just like a tattoo
(Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you I'll always have you, I'll always have you)
I'm sick of playing all of these games It's not about taking sides When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver It hurt enough to think that I could
Stop, admit that I'm wrong And then change my mind Sorry but I gotta be strong And leave you behind
[Chorus]
(Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you I'll always have you)
[Bridge] If I live every moment Won't change any moment Still a part of me and you I will never regret you Still the memory of you Marks everything i do
[Chorus x2]
Just like a tattoo I'll always have you
never ever letting you go ):
Y
10:21 PM
♥ Wednesday, January 16, 2008
sians.. stay at home got nothing to do.. so i post somethings lor..
super sianess.
*wonders where she is now* *wonders how she is doing now*
maybe.. im too over concerned.. spending the whole afternoon with nobody to talk to..
aye emm wai. if only she felt the same way..
so frikking sian.. if only she would talk to me.. haish..
BORING.
couldnt study.. once i open the powerpoint slide, my mind jus goes blank. and guess wad i see inside.. cnt study marn...will only think of stuff i shldnt be thinking of. sigh.
when i lie on my bed. i look at the white ceiling above. all i could think about wasnt System.out.println or JOptionPane.showMessageDialog. it was her. all i see was her. sigh..
xiang tai duo again.. wad i said over the phone.. hope she dint take it to heart.. the words i blabber out. they took a detour from my heart to my brain. instead of going into my brain first, they went out of my mouth before i noe its too late.. those crazy stuff i say... i can barely rmb..
aye emm wai.
this post.. i wont be posting a song.. becos she liked the previous song.. so i tot.. i might skip this post. really nice to see her smile.. my heart jus melts.. omg dun get me started.. =x
yea.. if i got things to say i continue later bahs..
p.s: enjoy my previous song ^^v
-me- -signing off at 6.54pm without a song-
hey its me. im back. the time is 10pm.woohoo.. why am i woohoo-ing? i got no idea.
diaos..
i changed my banner picture. looks cool eh?xD alright alright.. i noe it sucks.. aiya heck care la. if nv change later someone say i gay. =x wakaka..
sians.. so late le.. wonders where she is still.. sighs..
aye emm wai.
wish u were here.
-me- -signing off at 10.06pm-
never ever letting you go ):
Y
6:39 PM
♥ Tuesday, January 15, 2008
woww... 7 days have passed. time jus flies. it has been a week since i started blogging. and now i am still as sad as the day i started.
sigh. maybe not gonna blog anymore. one week is long enuff. hahas.. maybe one month put one post. lolx..
anyway.. went to sku today. do maths. do a few questions then give up liao. sibei buay tahan.. im getting dumb. yukang so smart sial. everything oso need him to teach me.. sigh.. i wanna be smart too! binary... hexadecimal.. so fun! wahaha..
sigh.. now i feel like quitting the FO planning thing for my sku. no feeling de lor... in the first place.. i joined becos of someone.. now.. i jus wanna forget it. i got nothing much to say. or else i jus wont stop tinking. sigh..
shortest post in my blog. since this may proberbly be the last post, why not, a cheerful song. ^^
-me- -signing off with the song Crush On You by Tata Young-
I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
I used to turn around and walk away Never stopped to play Cause there was no attraction
But in my heart you start to grow on me Kind of a suddenly So now I've changed direction
Knowing it might seems strange Love came over me Feeling the luck has changed Do you want me, like I want you?
I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
In this cold world, where dreams are few Baby, I want you Is it too much to ask for?
I'll take you places where you never been If you just give in So babe, it's now or never
Knowing it might seems strange; Love came over me Feeling the luck has changed Do you want me, like I want you?
I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony Oh, It's magic, magic, magiccccc. babe I've got a crush on you
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony it's magic,magic cos baby I've got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to .. To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony, it's magic. Oh, It's magic, babe I've got a crush on you
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony it's magic oh it's magic. baby I've got a crush on you
I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you.
never ever letting you go ):
Y
3:22 PM
♥ Monday, January 14, 2008
yea.. its a monday. but no lesson. shiok man.. but.. not so shiok.. have to hand in iwgd assignment 3. wth man.. deadline is at 5pm today. i finished already budden.. the submission of assignment cnt be done online. wth man.... later i will have to go to school to hand in my CD. i'll be spending almost 2 hours travelling and a few seconds the hand in the CD. stupid sia... wad to do.. live so far from sku jiu shi liddat lor...
time check. 1:58pm.
errr.. draft means can continue later right? hope so. haha.. later come home le then i describe how sian it is to be on the train for like 1 and a half hour. diaos..
there. another emo song. nice song. simple plan rocks. their lyrics all so suit me de.haha.. EMONESS!
sigh.. another day where she's in a bad mood.. everytime she is in a bad mood, i feel dam pek chek oso. duno why. i play audi a while nia oso no mood carry on. i play dota si bei no mood oso. always kena own then leave. wakaosss... no u duno what its like..
Finding > Guys to teach me how to jio girls. PM me... err.. cnt pm hor.. err.. jus tag ur email or something.
小明好没用哦。
bahs.. going off le. later then come back then emo. now i go emo on the MRT. bb blog.
------time 4.35pm------
reached home.. i left house at 2.30pm. reach home at exactly 4.30. shi zhun de lor.. lol.. 2 hours. non stop travelling. power..
went home with waikeong. yay.. ya.. wth... im going crazy soon.
sigh.. i travel so far there hor.. wanted to go out with her. budden.. she dun wan.. i oso bo bian.. have to lan lan go home lor... bleahs...
saw her. duno ish i lucky or she suay.. bleahs. anyway it doesnt matter. so hard to ask her out. gib up le la. zzzzzzzzzzzz.
my life so pekchek one. be happy u have yours not like mine.
-me- -signing off with the song Welcome to my life by Simple Plan-
Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong And no one understands you Do you ever wanna run away? Do you lock yourself in your room? With the radio on turned up so loud That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels all right You don't know what it's like To be like me
To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desperate to find something more? Before your life is over Are you stuck inside a world you hate? Are you sick of everyone around? With their big fake smiles and stupid lies While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels all right You don't know what it's like To be like me
To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face And no one ever stabbed you in the back You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay Everybody always gave you what you wanted You never had to work it was always there You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)
To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life Welcome to my life
never ever letting you go ):
Y
1:55 PM
♥ Sunday, January 13, 2008
yea its my blog's five day birthday. woohoo.
yea.. sunday. tml no sku. woohoo.. but have to pia assignment. wa kao.. haven do sia.. chui.. tml must pia! cnt play game! lol.. duno can a not..only one more week to exam. wonder if i will screw this one up..
sigh.. another day passed. 5 days since i started. time flies.
i duwan count down le.. later someone say me again.. *counts how many hours already*
hahas.. smiling will jus takes away my sorrow for a few seconds. budden after that... everything flies back into my mind.. its sunday now. 2 days nv see her le.. im missing her. really lot.
after every post, i post a song. this particular song really caught my attention. every sentence.. is wad i really wanna say.. really really sweet song..
emo boy has emo songs. i like to listen to this kind of songs.. it makes me all emotional. jus keeping quiet and listening to the lyrics. very touching.
have u ever love somebody so much it makes u cry..?
for me, yes.
you would do anything.. to make them understand...
for me, yes again.. like wad happened 3 days ago.. i gave it wad i got to try and make her understand wad i was really trying to say. becos it was a mistake. a mistake which made her mad. in the first place, the world having me here is already a mistake. everything i do is a mistake. god.
[looks at clock] [calculates time]
sigh..
i cant sleep. jus tinking of her. i cant sleep. jus tinking of wad i haven done for her. stuff i got no balls to do.
sigh again..
whenever i see couples together. hugging each other or kissing each other, or even jus holding hands, it makes my hartache. its like the blood in my heart turns acidic and becomes sour. i really envy couples like them. seen many. it mus be really nice.. to have someone next to u wherever and whenever u are.. sad to say... i never had one. the feeling really sucks. when i see them. how i wish.. i could be like them.. together with their loved ones. of cos not only the kissing and hugging that was important.. the fact that someone else could understand me better than anyone else could, really blew me away. sigh.. when will the day ever come? or will that day ever come? proberbly not for me.. the one for me feels that im not the one for her.. wad can i do... she proberbly feels that im jus another guy trying to win her heart, out of the millions. no big deal.. to her, i m nothing. but to me, she is everything. she fills up the missing pieces in my life. wad can i say.. love cant be forced.. mian qiang shi mei you xin fu de. if she doesnt like me, i cant do anything. nothing can help. i hope someday.. someone in this world.. appreciates me as who i am and vice versa. hopefully, that someday will come... jus hopefully..
-me- -signing off with Have You Ever by westlife-
Have you ever loved somebody so much It makes you cry Have you ever needed something so bad You can't sleep at night Have you ever tried to find the words But they don't come out right Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever been in love Been in love so bad You'd do anything to make them understand Have you ever had someone steal your heart away You'd give anything to make them feel the same Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart But you don't know what to say And you don't know where to start [Chorus]
Have you ever found the one You've dreamed of all of your life You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to Only to find that one won't give their heart to you Have you ever closed your eyes and Dreamed that they were there And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care [Chorus]
What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby What do I gotta say to get to your heart To make you understand how I need you next to me Gotta get you in my world 'Cuz baby I can't sleep [Chorus]
never ever letting you go ):
Y
8:52 PM
♥ Saturday, January 12, 2008
happy birthday blog! u r now 4 days old! woohoo..
today is Saturday, 12 Jan, 2008.
10:40pm. (thats wad it says on my system tray)
1 hour and 20 more mins.
sigh.. if only she knew i missed her. if only she knew i am tinking of her and wad she is doing right now... sigh.
thruout my day. tings kept happening and makes me wonder of her.
things like me saying "okok" not knowingly. after i said that phrase, the next thing that flashed acrossed my mind was her reply... the 2 chinese words.. if only i could hear them.
while i was smiling when i said "okok".. after that. i was silent. my smile grew to a moodless expression. duno wads that called. errr..... like not happy anymore la..
sigh..
liddat nia lor.. no big deal right.. she proberbly doesnt even care right now. i really wish i could hear her voice right now. and i wanna ask her if she has finished her iwgd assignment. but i noe its ridiculous. calling a girl jus to hear her voice.
the time is 10:51pm.
1 hour and 9 mins.
69mins until i last had contact with her. not the contact u r thinking of. jus a simple msg to her and from her. very soon.. it shall be 24 hours. 24 hours since i last chatted with her. longest time yet. all the nights she chatted with me.. now it feels like she doesnt care anymore..
1 hour and 5 mins.
65mins more.
haish.
without toking to u.. its like a piece of me is missing. i cant find it. soon, more pieces of me will be missing and then i will disappear from this world.
now i noe.. every inch of my body is missing you. i mus have bad aiming.. i gotta increase my dex.. sigh.. better lvl up fast.. =x
one more thing. i changed my address so she cnt see my true feelings. sigh.. tho i really wanna her to noe.. but... suan le..
What is love? Those who don't like it call it responsibility. Those who play with it call it a game. Those who don't have it call it a dream. Those who understand it call it destiny. And me, I call it you.
this shall be about it.. conclusion.
im sorry i cant be perfect.
-me- -signing off with the song Perfect by Simple Plan-
Hey Dad look at me Think back and talk to me Did I grow up according To plan? Do you think I’m wasting My time doing things I Wanna do? But it hurts when you Disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud I’m never gonna be good Enough for you I can’t pretend that I’m alright And you can’t change me
‘Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect Now it’s just too late And we can’t go back I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect
I try not to think About the pain I feel inside Did you know you used to be My hero? All the days You spent with me Now seem so far away And it feels like you don’t Care anymore
And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud I’m never gonna be good Enough for you I can’t stand another fight And nothing’ alright
‘Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect Now it’s just too late And we can’t go back I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect
Nothing’s gonna change The things that you said Nothing’s gonna make this Right again Please don’t turn your back I can’t believe it’s hard Just to talk to you But you don’t understand
‘Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect Now it’s just too late And we can’t go back I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect
‘Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect Now it’s just too late And we can’t go back I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect
never ever letting you go ):
Y
10:37 PM
♥ Friday, January 11, 2008
超喜欢你！！！！！！！！！！！！！
yea.. number 3. happy birthday blog! u r now three days old!
sigh. things jus cant seem to get any better.
yiming, why do u like to lie to urself? very fun issit. why do u still do it even though it hurts. deep down, u noe she doesn't. why. why are u telling urself she likes u.? life sucks man. seems like she will never be mine.
i tried so hard and got so far.. but in the end.. it doesnt even matter..
im someone who is easily jealous. it sucks to feel jealous. everything u see and hear and know will make ur heart sour. when i see her with someone else... i jus really wanna put my head down, look on the floor, and walk away. i know she isnt my gf or anything.. but.. forgetting her aint gonna be that easy for me. i'll just lie myself out.. everytime i see it.. i pretend not to see or hear anything. maybe this isnt right.. but.. the feeling u gave me when im with u.. i cant describe.simply. cant say anything about it. i jus wanna stay right beside u.
sigh..
i wonder which part of her did i fell for.. y is it that i always fall for someone who has lots of guy frens. jealousy nv stopped.
like people say.. love is blind.
i jus hope i would jus stop lying to myself and move on with my life. sick and tired of crying over girls. i jus wanna dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee D:
enuff le la. more i say the more i wanna disappear from this world.
-me- -signing off with the song When I'm With You by westlife-
When I’m with you When I’m with you When I’m with you you you You.. when I’m with you
What good’s a memory Without you there with me The morning sun ain’t the same Without you here You are the summer breeze The wind blowing through the trees You make the loneliness All just disappear
Nothing replaces your touch Never stop believing in us They try to break us But we stand strong in love They’ll be no distance too far I gotta be where you are (right where you are)
I don’t wanna face this world alone Without you by my side You’re the only one That makes it feel like home And I need you in my life When you’re not around I’m feeling Like a piece of me is missing When it feels like the day is closing in Somehow I find the faith To make it through When I’m with you When I’m with you When I’m with you you you You.. when I’m with you
What’s a photograph If you’re not in the other half Why even dream If I’m not dreaming of you You make me a better man Promise I’ll do all I can Your love keeps me bringing me Closer to the truth
Nothing replaces your touch Never stop believing in us They try to break us But we stand strong in love They’ll be no distance too far I gotta be where you are (right where you are)
I don’t wanna face this world alone Without you by my side You’re the only one That makes it feel like home And I need you in my life When you’re not around I’m feeling Like a piece of me is missing When it feels like the day is closing in Somehow I find the faith To make it through
[these lyrics are found on http://www.songlyrics.com] When I’m with you When I’m with you When I’m with you you you You.. when I’m with you
When I’m with you When I’m with you When I’m with you you you You.. when I’m with you
Hey
I questioned whether time or fate Would ever show me a sign The moment I saw you That’s when I knew I feel it when I’m with you
I don’t wanna face this world alone Without you by my side You’re the only one That makes it feel like home And I need you in my life When you’re not around I’m feeling Like a piece of me is missing When it feels like the day is closing in Somehow I find the faith To make it through When I’m with you When I’m with you When I’m with you you you You.. when I’m with you
When I’m with you When I’m with you When I’m with you you you When I’m with you
never ever letting you go ):
Y
9:12 PM
♥ Thursday, January 10, 2008
ok.. my 2nd post.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! my blog is officially 1 day old! yipee!.....but the sadness jus keeps getting colder.
things like this happens. duno is it expected or not.. i dint noe i was going overboard. how dumb could i get? which girl wont be irritated, u tell me. now its too late to regret..
its too late to apologise.. kcuf man.
i nv wanted this to happen. it was such a good beginning of my year. why the hell did it turn out like this. i was really hoping for something else.
the smell of u jus kept me awake. no matter wad im doing, i tink of u.
haish...
life is so unfair.. why do some ppl get wad they wan, while others spend their lives in misery. why why why.
the way u ignore me.. i jus.. simply.. cant stand it. the crack in my heart jus grew deeper today.
THURSDAY, 10 JANUARY, 2008
no idea wad happened. she jus gave me the cold shoulder. was i invading into her privacy? was i too close for comfort? i was jus trying to help her finish her assignment. was that too much? now its over.
wan to stop asking her to do her work oso no use le. i said im sorry and she thinks im giving her attitude.why the hell would i wanna make her angry? for wad. it makes me sad. now she is nv gonna tok to me again. fuck it. why are the water in my eyes when typing these? i was jus trying to bring it nicely to her that i shall stop interfering with her life. but she misunderstood. she thinks im really giving her attitude. waa fuck la yiming. fuck u. why ur words all so attitude one. why do ur words keep making ppl thinks u wanna quarrel with them. i really dont wanna fight with her.
like i said, i cant survive a day without thinking of you. why are u doing this to me? im not trying to make u repay me for all the help that i did for u. i did it at my own will. becos, you are you. and i like you.
ccb why still crying u fucker.
thursday, 10 january, 2008, 4.47pm minutes after her comments about me
i dont know how my life would be without u. im so frikking fucked up. everything i did, i did it for u. i cant stand the pain. fuck u yiming. how can this happen to me. im sick of this life. i jus wanna scream again.
sick and tired of crying. cry cry cry. everything oso cry. cry baby. where got boys cry one. so big le still cry. ccb.
tears rolling down my cheeks again.
im jus not daring enough to let her noe what i really feel.humji kia. no balls ah. fucker. hell yea. becos u noe u r not good enough for her arent ya? cb noob.
looks likes i cant finish my game design assignment 3 now. supposed to hand in tml. cant do any shit. fail le lor. my gpa chui le lor. zzz.
cant stop thinking of what she said. keeps looping in my mind.
looping this too
do{ x=1; System.out.printLn("yiming u suck. u should jus die") } while (x==1);
im better off crying than typing my tears out. i wish i would jus sleep and never wake up.
-me- -signing off with the song untitled-
Simple Plan - Untitled lyrics Artist: Simple Plan Album: Still Not Getting Any Year: 2004 Title: Untitled Print Correct
I open my eyes I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light I can’t remember how I can’t remember why I’m lying here tonight
And I can’t stand the pain And I can’t make it go away No I can’t stand the pain
How could this happen to me I made my mistakes I’ve got no where to run The night goes on As I’m fading away I’m sick of this life I just wanna scream How could this happen to me
Everybody’s screaming I try to make a sound but no one hears me I’m slipping off the edge I’m hanging by a thread I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered And I can’t explain what happened And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done No I can’t
How could this happen to me I made my mistakes I’ve got no where to run The night goes on As I’m fading away I’m sick of this life I just wanna scream How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes I’ve got no where to run The night goes on As I’m fading away I’m sick of this life I just wanna scream How could this happen to me
never ever letting you go ):
Y
4:23 PM
♥ Wednesday, January 9, 2008
hello. this is my first post. never tot i would create my own blog. now i finally did it. dont really know what it is for though.. life really sux when u have no one to talk to.
im shouting. shouting so loud. but no one hears me. it sux to be alone.
im on a lonely road, a lonely road that no one ever known. dont know where it goes, but it seems to me that im all alone.
im in the longkang of broken dreams.
kk. let me recall wad happen today.
today. 9th of january. wednesday. just like any other wednesday of my life.
the happiest thing that happened to me today, was my experience with WII. simply cool. technology rocks.
on my way home, thru out the entire journey, which took me one and a half hour to reach home, i was thinking of lots of stuff. they just came to me. i dont wanna tink of them. but i cant.
anyone ever thought:
is it logical to sacrifice ur ownself, for one u love. even though, the chances of obtaining what u truely want is almost like finding a needle in a haystack. are u willing to take time off doing your own assignment which is dued in a very short amount of time, to help someone you really like? i mean. i would. wouldnt u?
even though i know,
she didn't like me, she don't like me, she doesn't like me, she won't like me, she will never like me.
i tried my best. into making her not to quit. i tried my best. into thinking things would turn out the way i wanted. i tried my best. or could it be better?
i dont think anyone know how it feels. to feel like a failure. wad u did didnt help at all. you jus wasted ur time. making u have less time to finish ur projects. projects that you dont know how to do and haven even started. for a person like me, i nv fail to hand in my work on time. i make sure that even i dont really know how to do, i will make sure i do it before the deadline and hand in on time. but its like even if i spent a lot of my time helping her, it wont work out.
have u ever loved someone, so much, it makes u cry? have u ever needed something, so bad, u cant sleep at night? have u ever tried to find the words, but they dont come out right? have u ever closed ur eyes, and dream that she was there?
well. its obvious that she wont like me. perhaps im jus thinking too much. and hoping for things tat will nv happen.. but i really like her. when im with her, its a feeling that no one gave me. my heart jus melts when im with her or talking to her. my mind goes totally blank and lose control of my words. i noe if i lose this chance, it will be hard to come by another girl like you.
There are 2 reasons why i wake up in the morning: my alarm clock and YOU.
so many things i wanna say. but i dont wanna tink too much. this is afterall, my first post.bahs. i shall continue next time.
-ming- -signing off with the song Obviously by McFly-
"Obviously" Recently I've been, Hopelessly reaching Out for this girl, Who's out of this world. Believe me. She's got a boyfriend He drives me round the bend Cos he's 23 He's in the marines He'd kill me But so many nights now I find myself thinking about her now.
'Cause obviously, She's out of my league But how can I win She keeps draggin' me in and I know I never will be good enough for her. No, no Never will be good enough for her .Gotta escape now Get on a plane now. yeahOff to L.A and that's where I'll stay, for two years. I'll put it behind me(I'll put it behind me) Go to a place where she can't find me,
oh.'Cause obviously, She's out of my league, I'm wastin' my time' Cause she'll never be mine I know i never will be good enough for her .No, no Never will be good enough for her She's outta my hands And I never know where I stand Cos I'm not good enough for her He's good enough for her (for her, for her) 'Cause obviously, She's out of my league, I'm wastin' my time 'Cause she'll never be mine I know i never will be good enough for her. No, no Never will be good enough for her
never ever letting you go ):
Y
8:10 PM
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