after wad u said to me. i start to really think whether wad i said was do-able. whether i would take care of u all my life. whether i would take ur hand forever. will i be able to bring u happiness? will i be able to make u believe in true love again?
haish.
now im starting to think, i am absolutely no good enough to be with u for the rest of ur life. how can i make u never to shed a tear again if i little bit thing nia jiu cry. how can i take care of u if i cant even take care of myself. how can i make sure my love for u never subsided if i havent really loved someone before.
haish.
im so confused. wish u could understand how i feel. haish.. wish u were here...
although i cant be 100% sure i can achieve wad i said, i will still give YOU my 100%, to make sure u have a happy life ahead. even though i might not be the one holding ur hand in the future, i just hope for u to be happy.
haish.. there's so many things in my heart i wish i could say.. but they are all jammed up. i cant barely hear myself. i just wan to get a knife and stab into my heart to open up all my thoughts.
haish..
-cries away
never ever letting you go ):
Y
4:12 PM
♥ Friday, March 28, 2008
today is a flooded day. everywhere was flooded. why havent i drown? haish..
i only want u to be happy.
haish..
wad can i say..
-i love walking in the rain
-becos nobody knows im crying
never ever letting you go ):
Y
8:21 PM
♥ Thursday, March 27, 2008
thursday. a day to rmb.
firstly it was... next it was... then it was... then i was like... did it happened?
im still stunned. i duno wad to say i duno wad to do
omg..
-stunned
never ever letting you go ):
Y
11:22 PM
♥ Saturday, March 22, 2008
haish.. i hate going out.. cos everywhere, sure i see ppl holding hands. damn it man.. thats why i always stay at home and face my walls. haish.. i look myself into the mirror and sigh in great dismay.
haish..
even tho i dont contact you.. doesnt mean i stopped thinking of u.. even tho im geographically located many kilometres away from you, you nid to noe that i have you inside my heart, no matter how far apart we are.
haish..
if only u felt the same way..
byes .
never ever letting you go ):
Y
11:33 PM
♥ Thursday, March 20, 2008
today is a happy day (:
even though i couldnt spend my birthday with you (sigh), it was still memorable.
my whole family go play arcade with me. my dad, my mum, my sis and me. we play daytona. took up all the 4 seats there. wahaha~ it has gotta be my first time. my parents never step into arcade one. its like a miracle.
im so happy that there are so many other ppl around me who knows im alive (:
i would also wanna let u know that u r always on my mind. no matter wad i do. IMY x3
byes .
-signing off 17 year old (:
never ever letting you go ):
Y
9:09 PM
♥ Wednesday, March 19, 2008
you would be my best birthday present ever. but i know its not possible. ):
never ever letting you go ):
Y
10:59 PM
♥ Tuesday, March 18, 2008
if one day the whole world turns against me, will you?
never ever letting you go ):
Y
11:16 PM
♥ Monday, March 17, 2008
We took a long walk along the beach, glancing out at the sea.
The sun had just set, leaving a breathtaking image on the horizon. The currents of the sea slowly devoured the yellow light at the horizon. The tide was high, constantly threatening to push her tip to our feet.
We chatted as we walked. Jacky told me more about his childhood and his mother. He said that he felt compelled to help others when he was young due to his father’s death. His father was his hero. I, having nothing to say about any hero, just told him more about Landy. I was about to mention one of Landy’s less desirable habits when he suddenly interrupted.
“Can I hold your hand?” he said.
I wanted to smile, to jump around in ecstasy and hug him tight, and then kiss him and tell him how delighted I am. However, I did none of the above. I balled my hand into a fist and snorted, “I only allow my boyfriend to hold my hand.”
“Can I hold your hand?”
I looked away from him, trying to find something to say. “You can’t be my boyfriend. You said that before. You’ve got your… reasons.”
“Can I hold your hand?”
Now I really felt like punching him. “No. Because only lovers hold hands. And we are not lovers.” Not yet.
“Can I hold your hand?”
“I am not your girlfriend. I cannot be, because I have this curse, and you’ve got your own reasons.”
“Can I hold your hand?
“Only if you’re my boyfriend and I’m your girlfriend, then we can.”
“Can I hold your hand?”
“Remember what you once said?” I bit my lips. I was staring at the ground, my heart beating a lot faster. My body seemed to jerk and I was blinking a lot faster than normal. “If we hold hands, your reputation will be spoilt. I don’t want to do that.”
“Can I… hold your hand?” he repeated, this time weaker.
I continued walking. This was getting nowhere. I turned to him, ready to scold him aloud when I stopped in my tracks.
His eyes were red, and a few drops of tears were rolling off his eyes. He was breathing deeply. For the first time since I had known him, the tough and jovial Jacky was crying in front of me.
And he did not hold my hand. Instead, I held his and wiped off his tears. And as my blinking glistened back to normalcy, tears rolled out of my eyes as well and I jerked harder.
We were like two scared, crying school kids who were lost. But when I felt his hand on mine, I felt no fear.
Only warmth.
-obviously is not i write de.
never ever letting you go ):
Y
11:37 PM
♥
ya im a crybaby. F4. i have become a laughing stock, haven't i?
dun tok to me.
never ever letting you go ):
Y
9:31 PM
♥ Sunday, March 16, 2008
(:
never ever letting you go ):
Y
11:41 PM
♥ Friday, March 14, 2008
i guess she just didn't care .
when will i stop breaking down...
bye .
-sick of my life
never ever letting you go ):
Y
7:04 PM
♥ Thursday, March 13, 2008
why u always liddis to me..
with every sentence, i grew more aware of myself. i understood better of wad i just can never obtain. maybe im just not meant for u. im born into this world, just to play games. im made jus to sit in front of my com the whole day. maybe im not meant for anyone. did u noe how i felt when u said those things..? haish. i feel terrible now. there's nobody i can talk to.
if i happen to not wake up tml. if i happen to just die tml. i wanna tell u something before i die. i love u.
byes .
-he calls her to talk about absolutely nothing at all. -if only she knew..
never ever letting you go ):
Y
9:05 PM
♥ Wednesday, March 12, 2008
i sat in front of my com the whole day. repeating the same song again. trying to master the secrets of the song. but.. CMI la. jus anyhow strum nia. and jus pretend i got it correct. ): my singing sucks, i know. its proberbly becos wo bu pei music..
i will still try to learn to play this song. really sweet song. altho i hate jay chou. while i sing the song all day long. i look at the lyrics and found it quite touching. makes me produce H2O in my eyes a lil. haha.. kinda funny. nothing much to say.
Cong Qian Cong Qian You Ge Ren Ai Ni Hen Jiu Dan Pian Pian Feng Jian Jian Ba Ju Li Chui De Hao Yuan
never ever letting you go ):
Y
2:19 PM
♥ Tuesday, March 11, 2008
i tink i was too much.. sorry.. ):
never ever letting you go ):
Y
10:12 PM
♥ Monday, March 10, 2008
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
i miss u like a beginner killing crisom balrog. (:
byes .
never ever letting you go ):
Y
11:35 PM
♥ Friday, March 7, 2008
thank you for today. (:
i was on the train. i closed my eyes for 1 min. and when i opened them, my vision was blurred. they were wet. it was so embarassing. i closed my eyes and wish those water evaporated immediately.
haish.
everytime when i look at her, i wish i could slap myself. slap myself so hard that it would wake me up. when will i ever wake up?! i look at others, and i look at myself.
i am, and never will be, not good enuff.
i wonder why it took me so long to realise. that nothing's changed, and it never will. and so why am i so looking forward?
im sick. sick of myself. bye .
never ever letting you go ):
Y
6:02 PM
♥ Wednesday, March 5, 2008
I AM VERY HAPPY TODAY.
never ever letting you go ):
Y
10:36 PM
♥ Tuesday, March 4, 2008
wtf did i do sial? why mus liddat to me. did i not reply u? u said u were with a fren. i dint disturb u. i went screw my fingers with my guitar. and maybe i missed something u said. wa kao. zzz..
wa lao why my life liddat. jus fucking end it.
never ever letting you go ):
Y
8:51 PM
♥ Sunday, March 2, 2008
i must learn how to control myself. i better get used to those arrow keys.
haish..
im this close to holding a girl's hand. and i noe, if i give up now, i will never have the chance to get this close again.
haish... another week is gone.
miss u like crazy today. take care of urself. dun fall sick k?
-and i swear i'll never break your heart -and i swear i'll never let a teardrop fall down those beautiful cheeks of yours.
it's up to u to believe. ):
never ever letting you go ):
Y
10:06 PM
♥ Saturday, March 1, 2008
omg.. did i said wad i said ytd night..? omg...
chui le la..F4..
never ever letting you go ):
Y
12:43 PM
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